Never say never again

I always swore I would never blog. For that matter, after I retired from journalism I swore I would never write again. Ah well, best laid plans and all that rubbish.

I suppose I should fess up to why I decided to join the rest of the world. As a 50 year old gay man I have often seen prejudice and horror in the world. Growing up in the deep South seemed to add to it. But I never felt prejudice or harassment or judgement in the workplace. Until now. It may have always been there, going unnoticed in my previous careers. But an incident of left-handed bullying has occurred that is finally the step too far.

These days, and ever since a few months after Hurricane Katrina, I work in a historically macho field. I am a longshoreman, a dock worker, a wharf rat.

For those of you who don't know know what that is, I use heavy machinery to load and unload cargo ships.

Now, since my first day on the job I've been out. Hell, I've been out since my college boyfriend committed suicide over his accidental outing our sophomore year. For most of my co-workers it's always been a non-starter. It's just not important. But for some, it apparantly is. I've always taken a little ribbing about it, mostly harmless, though occasionally with an edge. In particular two of my union "brothers" have always been nasty. Frankly, I'm nasty right back at them.

The sticking point has come on finding that many of my co-workers were actually blasting me behind my back. Here's what is happening. I am saving up to buy myself a car since the transmission went out in my Honda. I ride to and from the ILA hiring hall and to the docks with several different co-workers. This week my friend Mark, who I ride with most often, broke down and informed me that a fellow longshoreman told him off for letting the "faggot" ride with him. Now, Mark stood up for me and told this co-worker off. He told me only so I could protect myself should it be necessary. And frankly, it pissed him off.

Initially I blew it off. I grew up in an era where bullying occurred a lot. After a few hours though I realized that was then and this was now, so I called my union officials and complained. In the course of making my complaint I discovered this was no isolated incident, but that it had occurred many times. No one had ever told me. Wow, what a sick feeling. I'm pretty tough, but this time my Teflon exterior was scratched

Of course, as this hadn't affected my getting work and wasn't done to my face, there was nothing official that could be done. Also in Louisiana there are no LGBT protections or remedies condoned by the state. Fortunately the international organization of my union does have them.

It just seems that for all the strides we've made as a country we can't seem to stop tearing each other apart, be it race, creed, orientation or gender. If I were to explode and show my prejudices at work I would get a lifetime ban. But it's still acceptable to bash the queer in Louisiana.